


Sleepless Nights and Restless Souls

by WritinRedhead



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Emotional Comfort, Multi, Polyamory, Relationships without Clear Labels, Romance, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 07:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12700125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritinRedhead/pseuds/WritinRedhead
Summary: Hoth is cold at night.Even more so if you're alone.





	Sleepless Nights and Restless Souls

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to[ SassySnowperson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaticEntrance/pseuds/SassySnowperson) and her _amazing_ beta-skills! You helped so much.  <3

The whole base is strangely quiet as Bodhi makes his way back to his room from the pilots' rec room. He's not used to the lack of noise, silence creating an entirely different atmosphere from the one he's used to. In the middle of the night, very few people are still awake, most of them still used to another planet's day-night rhythm. Fellow pilots and rebel operatives move around the hangar, performing their tasks with quiet efficiency.

He feels a bit out of place, crossing the large hall in his sweatpants and a sleep shirt crinkled from restless turning. He's used to being in coveralls or standard trousers; but it's not like any of that could be seen with his slightly too large parka tossed over him. Only one or two rebels even raise their heads for a low greeting as he passes them by. Bodhi notices their looks as he nods in response; they're probably wondering what he is doing here at this hour. It would be easy to say it's merely restlessness keeping him awake and wandering the halls. He'd love for that to be the answer. Sadly, it isn't. His breath forms a little cloud as he sighs.

To say the air is chilly is an understatement and Bodhi grips the mug in his hands tighter. The tea's warmth helps a little, letting him feel his fingers again, although Bodhi is pretty sure it's already too late for his frostbitten toes. Even inside, this planet is a freezing nightmare. Shifting the steaming mug to his left hand, he turns around the last corner of the south wing, arrives at his door, and enters the code to his quarters. As usual, the last key sticks to the panel and Bodhi lets out a frustrated groan. He presses the eight repeatedly, hoping at least one attempt will register with the system. He'll need to fix this damn panel sometime.

" _Kriff…!_ "

Some of the tea sloshes out of the mug, over his hand and down his wrist. It's not hot enough to burn him anymore, but that doesn't change the fact that his sleeve is now soaked, quickly turning cold. Just great. He'll need to fix this panel sometime  _soon_.

When the door finally does slide open, Bodhi notes with satisfaction that the cup is still half full. That's something, at least.

"Your door panel hates me."

Surprised to hear the sudden voice, Bodhi looks up. His bed is no longer empty. And he's certain it had been when he'd left, it isn't nearly big enough to hide an adult woman. Jyn is sitting in the middle of his bunk, cross-legged and with his pillow in her arms. The sweater she seems to have pulled over her own shirt looks suspiciously familiar. His eyes soften and Bodhi feels the corners of his mouth tug upward. Every time he asks why she doesn't just keep it, Jyn insists that would defy the purpose of  _stealing_ his shirt.

"It does that to everyone." Wiping his hand on his pants, Bodhi feels his shoulders ease a bit and he smiles at her. Jyn must have known that, sooner or later, he would have found himself in her quarters anyway. He walks in and sets the mug on the bedside table as the door hisses shut behind him. "Can't sleep either, huh," he asks.

Jyn huffs a laugh and runs a hand through her loose hair. Looking at how ruffled it its, it seems like she hasn't been any more successful in finding rest. "I couldn't be more awake with fifteen troopers chasing after me, I'm sure."

She lets go of the pillow and scoots over, patting the space beside her. Sharing a bed at night is nothing unusual, they've done it many times. And not just shared a bed, shared touches and breaths too.

Still, Bodhi raises an eyebrow. "Are you inviting me into my own bed?" he asks with a small grin. "Without even buying me dinner?"

He knows it's a terrible line and Jyn just rolls her eyes at his poor attempt at humor. She lifts the blanket draped over her lap and beckons him close. "What can I say? I'm cold."

"Everyone is cold here." Bodhi sighs. "Sometimes I wish I was a Wookiee."

Jyn suppresses a little snort and double-pats the bed again. "Long hair suits you, but not like that."

Slipping out of his shoes, Bodhi tucks in next to her and Jyn brings the blanket around him as well.

"So, no Wookiee look then?"

"No. I prefer you like this." She leans against him and Bodhi feels her hands sneak to his waist, seeking warmth. "It's cold alone," she amends her previous statement, voice lower than before. The difference is slight, but it's enough for Bodhi to understand.

He says nothing, though, only nods. Bodhi knows the kind of cold she's talking about, it's been his constant companion for the last few days. He puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her closer, while Jyn leans further into him and wordlessly tucks her head beneath Bodhi's chin. When she moves, her hair tickles his nose. It's not uncomfortable, the familiar smell of standard issue soap comforting as he nuzzles against it. Bodhi breathes in and with the exhale feels some of the build up tension leave his body.

For a while they just stay huddled together, silently wrapped in the warmth and company of each other.

Funny, he thinks, how at some times you don't realize what you're missing until you have it, and other times you don't realize what you have until it's gone.

He can't say exactly how much time has passed when Jyn leans over and reaches for the mug on the bedside, trying some of his tea.

"Very sweet," she comments. Bodhi watches her tongue dart out, licking her bottom lip to catch a stray drop. Jyn notices his look and sticks her tongue out the rest of the way.

"I didn't know I had to share it," Bodhi says, deciding he's mature enough not to return the gesture. He's tempted, though. "You're free to freeze your toes off and go get some of that awful concoction you're so fond of."

Whenever possible, he prefers sweet to bitter. Once, and only once, he made the mistake of trying some caf Jyn had made; he was immediately was filled with regret. The stuff had tasted like it was brewed in an old speeder engine and was packed with enough caffeine that it could 'revive a three days dead womp rat', Luke had told him over a second mug. Bodhi honestly doesn't know how Jyn, or Luke, or  _anyone_ for that matter, can stomach it. Jyn still takes great delight in affectionately teasing him for the coughing and spluttering that had ensued. To this day she points it out whenever she can. And despite calling himself Bodhi's friend, Luke isn't any better. Stars, Bodhi loves them both to bits, but sometimes he wonders why he even puts up with them.

"Didn't say I didn't like it." Jyn shrugs and takes another sip before handing it back to him. "Sweet is fine. Occasionally."

Raising an eyebrow, Bodhi takes the mug. "Is that so?"

Jyn moves fast, faster than he expects, twisting, her hand on his jaw and lips against his. Bodhi melts into the kiss, barely remembering to mind the mug as he leans toward her, still tasting of overly sweet spiced tea.

She was right, after all. It really is sweet, maybe even a bit too sweet if he's being honest, tasting more like syrup than tea. He hadn't really paid attention to the heaps of sugar he must have poured into it, his mind light-years away, not caring whether or not he gave himself cavities. On the other hand, it's nice how it blends with what is naturally Jyn and Bodhi wonders if he can convince her to trade the odd mug of caf for tea instead.

Jyn pulls back, eyes soft and looking right into his. "Yeah. It is."

When he sets back the mug, she takes his free hands as an invitation to settle comfortably between his legs. Not that she would have needed an invitation in the first place.

"Still cold?" Bodhi asks as she leans against his chest.

"Yeah."

Jyn takes in a sharp breath, then suddenly turns around and hugs him, her arms tightening around Bodhi's shoulders. She presses her face into the crook of his neck.

"Bodhi… " she says, and he feels the word against his neck even more than he hears her.

Her hands fist into the fabric of his shirt and Bodhi returns the hug, holding on tightly. This isn't something she'd normally do. She holds herself apart on instinct, and it's a slowly fading habit, created by many years spent alone and without the luxury of trust. But she's learning to let herself have someone to hold on to and to let herself be held by others in return. He knows the feeling, just as he knows the reason why she's clinging to him, the ache in his chest painful evidence to that.

"I know. I know." Bodhi leans his head against hers and takes a deep breath. "I'm worried too."

Jyn's fingers tense, digging into his shoulder blades. She sounds half angry, half frustrated. "He was supposed to be back three days ago. It's a kriffing diplomatic mission, why haven't we heard anything yet?"

She doesn't try to answer her own question, and neither does Bodhi. They can both imagine countless worst-case scenarios, and all of them make Bodhi's stomach churn. A lot of time has passed.

Something in the back of his mind whispers 'too much time for a milk run'. It's the same voice that's haunting Jyn. He shushes it and tells it to have hope, even if it's hard.

Jyn presses closer and her voice drops again. "I should've gone with him," she mumbles into Bodhi's shoulder.

Bodhi lets his thumb run soothing circles over her back, both trying to calm his own worry and take away some of hers. It helps, even though Jyn knows him far too well, knows he's feeling the same nagging mix of worry and fear inside that she is.

"He's not alone, he's got Kaytoo," Bodhi says, making sure his voice sounds confident. "It'll be alright." The reassurance is for himself as much as Jyn. His voice softens. "Besides, you're grounded for a reason. You don't get over a concussion in just a week."

The image is still seared in his memory. The moment Jyn had jumped down the flat roof building, narrowly evading the blast aimed at her, but paying for it with a rather unfortunate landing. The jump had saved her life, still, Bodhi's heart had nearly given out when he'd seen her go over the edge.

Caught up in memory, his hold around her frame tightens.

"I'm feeling fine," Jyn responds. The same stubborn answer she'd repeatedly given the med staff before, the same answer she'd given Cassian a week ago when she'd shown up in the hangar after giving herself medical clearance. What's different is the tone. It's lower, with less fire, and it lets him know that she hears his worry and values his concern. "I just really…"

She makes a frustrated noise and Bodhi can feel her hands ball into fists behind his back. Maybe his do too, he's not sure. Bodhi's mind replays the sound of footsteps going up a shuttle ramp and the words then spoken to them, " _Don't worry, I'll be back soon. Trust me."_  A kiss to his lips and to Jyn's. Bodhi wants to believe the words. He holds onto them the best he can. Trust me. Have hope. He needs to remember that.

"One more day," he says. They can't do anything during the night anyway, the gates are shut and Bodhi can outright hear Cassian's voice call them irresponsible idiots for even  _thinking_ of stealing a shuttle because of him. Doesn't mean they won't, though. "Let's give him one more day."

He kisses the top of Jyn's head, reassuring, then presses another kiss to her cheek, to the corner of her mouth, until Jyn turns around and tilts her head, her lips finding Bodhi's. She presses firmer against him, taking his bottom lip between hers and Bodhi can feel a slight tremor in them. Bringing one hand up to her face, the other wrapped around her back, he tries his best to ease it. To comfort. When he feels Jyn's hand, warm and gentle, at the back of his neck, he realizes she's doing the same.

It's a slow, lingering kiss. The synced press of lips telling of mutual comfort, familiar intimacy, and shared sorrows.

"Okay," Jyn murmurs against Bodhi's lips, still not pulling away entirely. She brushes her fingers over his face and tucks a loose strand of hair behind Bodhi's ear.

Jyn kisses him once more before she twists around and settles down in Bodhi's lap again, leaning against his chest, her cheek resting on his collarbone.

After a minute, Bodhi starts to play with her hair, untangling the strands and getting rid of little knots, gentle with her as he works. The mindless task does wonders, distracting them both and pushing away the dark thoughts. For a moment, at least. Carefully, his fingers move over her scalp and Jyn gives a pleased noise. She seems to be calming, and Bodhi too, can feel himself settle again. So when he's done untangling, he starts separating the strands and braiding them. They're a bit short but he makes it work. Jyn sighs, her body relaxing more, the tension easing, though not disappearing entirely. She reaches behind and feels his work.

"How are you so good at that? I nearly pull out half my hair every time."

"Practice," Bodhi says with the hint of a smile. "Wookiee, remember? Plus you have no patience."

Jyn huffs in mock indignation but doesn't try and deny it. Bodhi bites his lip to keep from pointing it out. She knows he's right, although that doesn't mean she'd ever admit having the patience of a wet loth-cat .

Bodhi ties off the braid and when he's finished, Jyn turns her head to glance at the chrono. Bodhi follows her gaze. The numbers glowing in the dim room show it's 0300 hours. Considering how early the Rebellion has them waking up, they've both been without sleep for much longer than health regulations say they should. On top of it, neither of them has been sleeping well since Cassian left.

"Don't you have an exercise with Rogue Squadron tomorrow?" Jyn looks up at Bodhi. "Wouldn't want you to lose to Luke," she says.

Bodhi fluffs up his pillow and moves it to the head of the bed. He crooks an eyebrow. "You just have a bet running with Solo, admit it."

"Maybe?" Jyn attempts to give him a smile, but it gets swallowed by a yawn.

War doesn't sleep, they say, and while that may be true, exhaustion doesn't win battles either.

Bodhi brushes her new braid over her shoulder. "I think it's time we try to get some sleep. Or rest, at least," he amends and Jyn nods.

When he lies down, stretching his limbs, Jyn curls up against him. They quietly chat, back and forth, without purpose other than mutual reassurance. They weren't alone in the cold darkness of the night. He feels his eyes grow heavy as he listens to Jyn's breathing slowly even out. Her back pressed against his chest, he can feel her heart beating a slow, steady rhythm and it lulls him, slowly, to sleep.

 *

It's still dark, early enough that the automatic lights haven't come on yet, when Bodhi blearily blinks awake. He'd thought he'd heard a noise, a low shuffling of feet across the floor. Jyn is still asleep, her legs tangled with his. She is hugging his arm, and it's adorable, though he suspects she'd strongly deny ever doing once she woke up. Bodhi doesn't mind, it's nice. She winds up wrapped around his arm fairly often, and he thinks he's doing a good job at keeping it a secret.

He's wondering whether he'd imagined the noise when he hears another. He glances towards the small table near the other side of the room, his heart skipping a beat at what he sees. He feels lighter, a weight lifted off his shoulders, as he sees Cassian, setting down his rucksack and unzipping his parka.

"Hey…" Bodhi says quietly, knowing he must be smiling. He doesn't want to disturb Jyn, she needs all the rest she can get, and doesn't sit up, only lifts his head.

"Hey," Cassian replies. He comes over and carefully sits down on the side of the bed. As far as Bodhi can see he is unharmed, no new cuts or bruises on his face for once. Cassian seems tired, though, deep shadows visible under his eyes. It looks like Jyn and Bodhi weren't the only ones having a hard time finding rest. "Sorry for waking you, I tried to be quiet."

"That's fine." Bodhi smiles over at Cassian, who pushes back a strand that had fallen into Bodhi's face. Bodhi feels relief spreading through him at the touch. He sighs. "Just glad you're back. What happened?"

"Ran into a hostile patrol ship and the shuttle took a hit," Cassian explains, then quickly adds, "Nothing bad, but the comm system was knocked out. We couldn't make contact with the base."

Cassian's eyes shift away from Bodhi's. Their quiet talk seems to have woken up Jyn. She stirs on the bed, letting go of Bodhi's arm, then propping herself up on her elbows. She blinks once, twice, making sure she isn't still asleep. She rubs a hand over her face, chasing away the remnants of sleep, then cocks her head at Cassian.

"Cass... You're back." The looks she's giving him is trying for reproachful. It's not quite working, she's too obviously relieved, and her furrowed brows turn into a soft smile. "I'm going to be angry at you for worrying us later."

She sits up, allowing Bodhi to do the same. He flexes his fingers, his arm feeling a little tingly where Jyn had slept on, then takes another look at Cassian. His hair is tousled from the parka's hood, beard a little longer than the usual stubble, a tentative smile forming on his lips.

"I better get back into your good books until then," Cassian says, earning himself a punch to the arm. There's not much force behind it, though. Bodhi knows Jyn could kill a man in her sleep. Still, that doesn't stop Cassian from holding his arm as if he'd been hit harder, his unusual lightheartedness a result of tension slowly falling off of him, piece by piece with every passing moment. "Is that my welcome back?" he asks. "How nice."

"No. This is your welcome back."

Jyn wraps her hands around Cassian's neck and pulls him close, kissing him full on the mouth. Her hands move up into his already tousled hair, curling in like she's reminding herself of the familiar feel of the uneven, makeshift haircut. Bodhi knows how that hair, the feel of it. Having cut it himself, he's nearly more familiar with Cassian's slight curls than his own. Almost by themselves, his fingers wind up in Cassian's hair too. Someone else would have done a better job than him, Bodhi thinks absentmindedly, but he hadn't been able to refuse when Cassian had asked so earnestly.

Suddenly, he feels Jyn's fingers interlace with his. She turns her head toward Bodhi and kisses him. It's freer, more playful than before, without the shadow of worry hanging over them both. There's a sparkle in her eyes when she pulls back, spreading over her face. "But later, we'll show him, right?"

Bodhi nods, infected by her crooked grin. "We will," he agrees.

Jyn moves in for another quick kiss and in the moment's time it takes Bodhi to blink, her mouth becomes replaced by Cassian's. His lips slightly more chapped than hers, but still soft, moving slow and pouring in the relief of reunion that is near tangible in the small room. Cassian curls his hand into Bodhi's sweater, resting it on his chest. His lips are still close enough to brush against Bodhi's as he smiles and says, "I'm looking forward to that then."

When Bodhi draws back, he sees Jyn studying Cassian's face a second time. Her forehead knits together. "When was the last time you slept?"

"I did sleep." Cassian dodges her question, evading her look and instead glancing at Bodhi for help.

"That's not going to work. I'm with Jyn on this," Bodhi says, as Jyn reaches out a hand to make a grab for Cassian's shirt, tugging him into bed with them. "Come here."

They spend a moment or two just shuffling around, Cassian not protesting other than asking for a moment to take off his shoes, which Bodhi figures is fair enough. The shuffling resolves with Bodhi shoved up against the wall and Cassian just far enough away from the edge of the bed to not fall out, Jyn squeezed between them.

It's cramped, but in all honesty, Bodhi prefers it this way, feeling Cassian's breath ghost over his face and Jyn's body warm against his. It feels right. "We missed you," he says into the dark.

"We did." Jyn agrees, wiggling to get even more comfortable in the confined space. Bodhi has no illusions that once she's asleep, she'll sprawl out again.

Cassian stays quiet for a moment. The mattress moves as he shifts closer and Bodhi can feel Cassian's arm lift and drape over him and Jyn.

"I missed you too," Cassian answers quietly. He lets out a sigh that sounds as if he'd been holding it since the day he'd left. The arm resting on Bodhi's waist relaxes. "It's good to be back."

Tugging the covers back up, Bodhi lets his head sink down again and he closes his eyes. His body feels heavy and tired, the sort of exhaustion that comes when tension finally goes. Listening to Cassian and Jyn's breathing, he revels in the feeling of knowing they're both back, back with him and in safety, and the last bit of tension bleeds out of Bodhi. With them at his side, he feels whole again.

"Welcome home," Bodhi says.

Outside this bed, the war is waiting. There's more cold, and worry, and separation ahead of them. All of that will still be there when they wake up, but for now, for this one moment, he can pretend that none of it matters. All that that matters is that they're together. And that's enough.

 

 


End file.
